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This was the 1970'sand having an illegitimate baby was still a scandal.On the Saturday I put on jeans, yellow and black tie dye tee shirt andtennis shoes with yellow laces and walked round to Babs, I wasdeliberately dressed as androgynous as possible, this was part of ourtransformation plan for me. We put two outfits on hangers and a smallsuitcase into Camille's Mini. The two outfits were explained away thatBabs could not make up her mind and was going to choose when she gotthere.On the motorway when the car was running on the smooth tarmac I put myhair up into a ponytail and using the vanity mirror applied eye shadow,mascara and lipstick. About half way we stopped at a motorway Cafe andthe next part of the plan was for us to go into the ladies toilets. Thiswas my first time I had been in a Ladies toilet and I was reallynervous. It was very busy and what struck me how much nicer it was thanany men's toilets and more fragrant but much nosier, women and girlswere chatting and laughing. I haven't had meaningful contact with another male in six weeks. Ihaven't seen or read about or played any manly sports since I decided onthe Lipstick Route. I watch only soap operas or Kardasian reality showsor Project Runway or Ellen on the TV. My reading material is exclusivelyVogue and Glamour and Allure and all the rest of the magazines I have toread to get a glimpse of what will happen to me in a few months.Mother so enjoys the evenings that we spend, every couple days, pouringtogether over ELLE or ALLURE, with her asking me which bra ad mostappeals to me and why. A man hasn't lived till he has sat with his motherand discussed the effects a WonderBra would have on that son's boobs. Shequizzes me endlessly about what types of bras and girdles I think wouldbe most flattering on me, her son. Do I like longline bras? Do I thinkOPI nail polish is sexier than ESSIE? Do, I, her son, really need scarletlipliner on an everyday basis?We sit together, Mother in her most revealing peignoir.
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